bunglesblog

evil

2005-03-09T19:48:00.000Z

Tired

2005-01-16T14:14:00.000Z

SATURDAY.

We spent the day in london yesterday seeing a show (sweeney todd) it was dire....
i was really looking forward to it,silly me.

We then went shopping and for some reason my feet were killing me so spent an hour moaning to the FLM, we then realised that i had odd boots on we have the same boots,mine are a size 9 his are 8...and like an adiot i had one of each on....

So mercy trip to the nearest shoe shop and comfort was restrored.

We then had a lovely meal in chinatown.

Then onto a club to meet up with friends HUGE mistake we were both so tired ..

Oh well by 2 am we were home and all snuggly in bed.

Gay Men!!

2005-01-10T15:06:00.000Z

Why do some gay men and I assume straight people thrive on dramas and have such bad taste in men...

FLM and I have a friend staying he is a lovely man,who has just finished an 18 month relationship that has been very rocky from day one,with lots of rows and break ups, he finally made the break and moved out at the weekend.

Today I got a frantic call from him saying he felt unwell and what should he do..From what he said it sounded like a classic panic attack or hypo,so ambulance called, they said he had very low blood sugar and so hes now on his way to hospital..

I will lay money on the first call he makes will be to the ex to let him know...Which will start the whole drama of again..
I hope i'm wrong...

Selfish.

2005-01-08T12:34:00.000Z

I am beginning to feel that i'm a very selfish person...

I have been seeing the FLM for 6 months now...
And all is lovely...Except the fact that I feel we have very little quality time together,since he came out 3 months ago we have spent a lot of time with his children and that has been good,they have all been very at ease(on the surface) of our relationship.

But along with that means that we see a lot more of them,which also means that we get less time to do other things as a couple,and as this is all new to me i'm finding it sometimes difficult to not make a fuss and upset the apple cart.As most gay men don't have children we are by nature unused to thinking of others apart from partners etc.,and so meeting a man that puts his children above everyone is in someways very refreshing,but at others very hard.

But then last night FLM told me that Joe the youngest wanted to see the film White Noise with his dad..That would be fine except that we had already made plans to see it..FLM trying to please everyone has said that we will still go and see it,but that's where the crunch comes..I don't want to see it with him once he has already seen it..
Its a horror film and so the element of suspense etc will be lost on him and so take away some of the pleasure for me, I know I sound unreasonable but that's how I feel...And yes OK i'm very selfish..

Missed ideas..

2005-01-07T20:47:00.000Z

Todays blog was going to be Tsunami but those that read my blog will also have seen Blue Witch's who had the same idea ..and said it all so much better than i could have hoped to.

So all i will say is that i have had a very nice day seeing a friend that i havent seen since before xmas ...so got lots of lovely presents..

A new year .

2005-01-06T16:36:00.000Z

A new year starts (late) with a new blog.

I have finally got sorted the way to enter a new blog after having to format the trusty laptop..
I never thought I would say this but i'm so pleased that xmas has been and gone,it was a very stressful time..But enjoyable in an odd way...

lots of nice presents were exchanged(always pleasing).

And of course lots of nice food and drink were consumed...

And now starts the diet well it started last monday..So hopefully in 6 months I will be close to a normal weight...

Thats all for now but I will be back.

HOT WATER...

2004-11-30T10:45:00.000Z

Its funny how we take things for granted...After getting the keys to the FLMS new flat just over a week ago we tested the heating etc. All fine..Then ran the hot tap...Not so fine...

So less than an hour later we had the emergency plumber out,£60 later still no hot water..Jump 4 days new plumber ..No hot water..

Jump 2 days british gas plumber arrives...And leaves 90 min. Later..Still no hot water..

Friday arrives the british gas plumber doesn't..A letter does instead to say that the part that is needed is out of stock will be ten days..

I have never been so happy to be back at my humble lil flat and a constant stream of lovely hot running water.

BROADBAND..

How can it take 15 days to get a Broadband connection up and running it amazes me that in this day and age things are still so slow..
But they have now said it will be on by the 3rd if Dec...We will see...

LIGHTING...

The new flat has this lovely halogen lighting in the bathroom,kitchen and hallway..All looks very nice..When it all works which is not often at the same time..
There is also nice lighting under the kitchen units...Which we have never been able to turn on and have no idea why...

Oh well i'm back there on Saturday....I'm hoping against hope that all will be fixed...

Shopping with a value witch...

2004-11-16T10:09:00.000Z

THURSDAY
BW came to collect me to have a nice day out shopping with her,the first sign that this wasn't going to be as clear cut as this was when we got lost ...

Thankfully there was a lovely lil helper in the car called Tom-Tom I love him.

We did finally make to my temple of worship otherwise known as Bluewater.

Our first port of call was a lovely little old fashioned shop called John Lewis...

We went directly to customer services to be helped with returning something when I say helped....That wasn't the case..They couldn't have been more unhelpful..

Now those of you that know me will realise that i'm quite a shy person and find confrontation difficult when dealing with these things.....;O)

BW carefully explained the problem with the item and imformed them as to what she expected to happen....Now that all sounds fine...

But somewhere between that and the next 40 min. Things went wrong...And it somehow ended with the customer service manager threatening to have security remove us from the store...

So with heavy heart we left saying that we will never shop there again and will tell everyone we know to boycott the shop too.

And true to our word we left...AFTER..Spending another £400 just to spite them of course....

Last blog

2004-10-28T15:18:00.000+01:00

Today I have decided to stop blogging ..At least for awhile ,there has been several things that have happened to help me make that choice.

I have enjoyed my time in blogland.

And as I say will hope to return one day,but at the moment don't feel I can offer it the time and attention that it needs.

I will of course still be dipping in and out of everyone else's to keep an eye on you all!

Thanks for the laughs and the support see you all soon.
Hugs Paul.x

Friday.

2004-10-22T15:44:00.000+01:00

"One honest voice can be louder than a thousand liars"

Wednesday

2004-10-20T17:53:00.000+01:00

Work...like you don't need the money.

Love...like you've never been hurt.

Dance..like nobody's watching.

The joy of farting

2004-10-19T10:47:00.000+01:00

Todays post is ghost-written by a erm, ghost.

I'm asleep. Deeply asleep (there is quite a lot of me that needs resting remember), so I thought it would be an idea to write a post in my dream. This post isn't really here, you see. I'm only dreaming it is and you must be part of that dream as you read it.

*parp*

My 'lil man is off on a well deserved short break, what with all his family hassles, house buying etc; and I thought I would avail myself of the extra time to eat a few more cream cakes and keep myself looking just as fabulous as the day he met me.

*parp*

I thought I might start writing my thesis today: The causes and effects of bloggers cramp and the effects it has on global capitalisation. But I can't think how to begin. Perhaps some of my readers will give me some helpful guidance. *parp* Or maybe one of them will prod me with a big electric cattle prod.

I'll think about it while I watch Trisha (its a good one, so I must still be asleep) *parp*

I really must stop drinking that cabbage water late at night.

Sunday Bloody Sunday

2004-10-17T16:05:00.000+01:00

I seem to be suffering with bloggers block,i cant think of nothing to write about.

Im bored and fed up.

Have got a girlfriend coming over this afternoon for a meal,and not really looking forward to seeing her,which makes me feel guilty as we have been friends for over 20 years,maybe once she gets here i will feel ok..

Wednesday.

2004-10-13T13:00:00.000+01:00

I am being nagged to put a new post up by the pansy formally known as piggy..

So with very little to say here it is,all is quiet in my life at the moment,FLM has had the reports back on the flat he is buying and all looks OK..

I am waiting for a certain pansy-man to visit and take me shopping,so that I can buy the food to cook him dinner,and now I know he is not really a committed veggie anymore this will be much easier.

I am going home to mine tomorrow and will be there for over a week as the FLM is away (without me).

And i'm sure my brain wont be working overtime and accusing him of sleeping with the male population of Wales...Just maybe the sheep..

He really needs this break he has had a lot to deal with in the last few months..And no pansy I don't mean me..Well not just me..

Maybe more later ..If the pansy blows me out...Again...

hope this works..i cant bear to be shouted at..

2004-10-11T17:10:00.000+01:00

The albums you should have listened to before you die
From Spellcaster, via billy, Rob and Bonnie.

...copy the list on to your blog, put in bold the ones you have listened to (completely from begining to end) and then add three more albums that you think people should have heard before they turn into their parents - remember, it isn't necessarily your most favourite albums but the ones you think people should listen to... and when we say listen we mean from track one through to the end...

If you put a link to your follow-on post in the comments of the site where you found it, the chain will be trackable. Maybe!

1) Sgt. Peppers Lonely Hearts Club Band - The Beatles
2) London Calling - The Clash
3) Blood Sugar Sex Magik - Red Hot Chilli Peppers
4) Think Tank - Blur
5) This is Hardcore - Pulp
6) Moon Safari - Air
7) Elastica - Elastica
8) Never Mind the Bollocks Here's the Sex Pistols - Sex Pistols
9) OK Computer - Radiohead
10) The Kiss of Morning - Graham Coxon
11) Ziggy Stardust and The Spiders from Mars - David Bowie
12)< The Wall - Pink Floyd
13) Setting Sons - The Jam
14) America Beauty - The Grateful Dead
15) Toxicity - System of a Down
16) Train a Comin' - Steve Earle
17) Folksinger - Phranc
18) Come From the Shadows - Joan Baez
19) Bat out of Hell - Meatloaf
20) The River - Bruce Springsteen
21) The Very Best of Joan Armatrading - Joan Armatrading
22) Copperhead Road - Steve Earle
23) ABBA Gold - ABBA
24) Yoshimi Battles the Pink Robots - The Flaming Lips
25) Out of the Blue - E.L.O
26)Jagged little pill- allanis morrisette
27)the visitors- Abba
28)Marshall Mathers LP (Advisory)Eminem

MASHMALLOW ON THE UVULA

2004-10-11T15:53:00.000+01:00

It is my turn to update you all on the exploits of the last weekend. I have to say that it was quite a couple of days...
Bungle and I had arranged to travel to the area known as Lakeside for some retail therapy with my Daughter (18) and youngest son (13) on Saturday after they had spent the night with us at Bungles abode overnight Friday.

Now there are a few problems with this in itself:-

1. Bungle was convinced they would think he lived in a poor house and never want to see him or his flat ever again.
2. I am still freaking out about my son's diabetes and worry about it constantly
3. Bungle and I had a hiccup in our relationship and this was our first time back together.
4. I detest Shopping in any shape or form.

So Friday night the Wrights set off for a far distant land called the Church of Horns. We arrived safely, Bungle bought me a lovely dressing gown and a card that made me cry...so that was nice.

We had a huge Chinese dinner and all retired ready for the excitement that was to become Saturday.

The next day we were to go to Lakeside and then up to Braintree to visit my eldest son for a short while.
Lakeside was a nightmare - mainly for me because of point 4 above.
Now as we all know Bungle LOVES shopping and he was a very excited Bear indeed. My Daughter had her sights set firmly on my credit card and all I did was ask if my Son was feeling ok once in every 7 minutes (not unreasonable I think?)

Bungle has a gift when it comes to shopping.....we entered the Disney shop looking for a present my daughter was to take to a Christening.

LOVELY DISNEY LADY:- Hello can I help you at all...is there anything you are looking for...?
US:- No thanks I think we are ok at the moment
LOVELY DISNEY LADY:- Well these small boxes on this toy open up to store things in.....
BUNGLE (in best frosty voice) I THOUGHT WE SAID WE DIDNT NEED ANY HELP....
The Lovely Disney Lady (who actually looked like a Umpa Lumpa in the menopause) waddled off looking very sad.
My daughter was mortified......

Bungle has also bought an ingenious little attachment for his waving finger....the same finger that Sonny (Ian) reported on in a previous Blog...
When we have to wait for an assistant he bangs this lovely silver ring very loudly over and over on the glass top counter until the poor assistant HAS to take notice of him....its wonderful..everyone should have one.

Bungle was very keen to get on with my daughter....and for that I love him....he did everything he could besides modelling clothes for her..choosing this and that...insisting she tried it on etc. He loves shopping. Unfortunately after 3 hours I had had enough of bloody Jane Frigging Norman and got a bit ratty with them all insisting we left straight away before my head exploded.

We left heading for Braintree.......now here is another problem.
Never let kids map read when you have a deadline. We ended up nowhere near Braintree. Bungle was convinced of this early on in the journey and bless him he kept tight lipped throughout the journey only finally telling me he was convinced of this at the early stages of the trip....aint he cute !

We finally made it and had a nice meal with my eldest before he started work. It was very nice to have us all together...I get a bit emotional about my kids and that afternoon with us all together, Bungle, me and the 3 of them was lovely...we had a nice meal and a good laugh.
Made it all worthwhile in my book.

MEANWHILE IN HASTINGS !!!! (loud crashing of cymbals and screeching violins)

Sonny (Ian) had travelled south to meet a playmate from the cyber world he inhabits and things had not gone too well...Bungle received a message saying he might have to come and stay with us as he could not spend another day with the Hastings Creature.
On Saturday morning I phoned Sonny, giving him the opportunity to use the call as an 'emergency' he had to attend to....I told Sonny while he said oooohh and oooh no how dreadful etc that Mummy (Bungle) had choked on a marshmallow that had become stuck to his Uvula. He was in intensive care at the Trebor Hospital. Sonny was not amused. However he did travel North and got away from the Hastings Creature. Poor Sonny he has had a run of bad luck in the playmate area.
Sonny ran off that evening to his bestest club XXL leaving Mummy and Daddy to unwind a bit after a frantic day. We also told Sonny not to bring home anyone with a large head or had plywood teeth....that cut down Sonnies choices at XXL by over 50 percent but its for his own good.

Sunday was a nice day with Mummy and Sonny having fun while I visited my mother to make sure she was still breathing.
As usual it came time for Sonny to wend his way northward to that land that has no Pot Noodles nor adequate sanitation.
It is always sad when Sonny goes home...usually because I have to clean the cooker.

Monday....

2004-10-11T11:30:00.000+01:00

Well I have had the weekend off from blogland as I needed to sort my head and heart out...
And seeing Mr pansies blog today helped put it all in place for me.

I have the tendency to read more into situations and make something out of nothing..(not in a good way)
and i'm afraid I did this last week,but thankfully the FLM understood this and got us through it.

If i'm honest I have never understood people who need a partner to feel whole themselves,and now I know why,its because I have never been in love before,and for better or worse I do think that we are different in ourselves if we feel and share love,I think that before I always felt that maybe to be in love meant losing something of yourself and almost a sign of weakness..

I know now that I was wrong,it takes real strength to be in love and to let yourself just enjoy the feelings it brings.

On thursday I had a real physical pain in me when I thought that it might be all over,as I knew then that I loved the FLM so much it actually hurt.

And for once I didn't run away or try and push him away.

Infact I wanted him to just hold me and tell me it would all be OK.

OK you can all be sick now..

But I think as perhaps Ms Pansy has found out that if it really is love then you have to see past the dark days and see what is really happening and run with it.
And take and give as much pleasure you can from it while its there.

No new blog

2004-10-07T18:59:00.000+01:00

Hello all ..Just to say that due to unforeseen circumstances there will be no blog til monday..
Have a good weekend all.

Filling my life..

2004-10-06T15:06:00.000+01:00

I have come to the conclusion that I need to find something to occupy my days,to give my paranoia less time to manifest itself...

I know why i'm the way I am,and I want to change it.
And have thought about doing some charity work,but don't really feel that I want to join the blue rinse brigade in a charity shop...

So if anyone has any SENSIBLE ideas then please leave a comment...

Today I met an old friend for lunch which was really nice,we were able to catch up and gossip etc..

My getting a large bunch of flowers delivered yesterday has for some reason caused quite a stir for my elderly neighbours who wanted to now who and why was I getting them,its not my birthday etc....
They miss nothing..lol.

So I kept them guessing..

Madness...

2004-10-04T23:40:00.000+01:00

I have had a lovely day,first thing this morning i was contacted my MI5 to see if i wanted to become a secret agent...
After a great deal of thought i declined,it would mean missing "touched by an angel" every morning.

So then went out and and cleared my tubs and pots of all the now dead summer plants, whilst doing this Alan Titchmarsh wandered by and asked if i would like to co-present his new show,i gave it some thought and declined as it would have meant missing "Quantum leap"every afternoon.

After all the excitement i thought a nice cup of tea was called for with a weight watcher mince pie
and low and behold as im brewing,theres a knock at the door,and there stands Nigella Lawson,nearly crying asking me to work with her on her new cook book as she had heard of the wonderful stew i had made last week,again with much thought i had to decline as it would have meant missing "Charmed".every evening.

In-between all this had a visit from stockycubz with a small gift from his travels.

And to end the day i have now got installed the new msn7 that doesnt get released for some months..

And have had a lovely chat with the FLM who for some reason manages to still love me even when im in hyper paranoid mode and thinking all sorts..none of which is based on any fact,why oh why cant i just accept what he says and be normal...dont all rush to answer that...

At home with bungle

2004-10-03T22:17:00.000+01:00

Good evening one and all..

I have had a lovely weekend I have spent the last two days chatting to friends and neighbours that I don't see much of now,so had lots of gossip etc...... To catch up on..

And today have spent the day with friends for dinner ,so nothing too riveting to say as its been a normal uneventful day.

Its now 22.00 and i'm about to have a nice hot bath and watch crap TV..

I promise that i will try and put up something of interest up on monday...If I cant I will make something up..

STEW!

2004-09-29T10:14:00.000+01:00

I have commited myself to making a stew for dinner on thursday,and at the time gave no thought to the fact that i have never made one and have no clue how to infact make one...

As a child they just appeared at dinner time with lovely dumplings.

So if anyone has an old family recipe that they can pass on to me and then i can pass of as mine i will be more than greatful.

Hamish the drag queen bin man...

He/She seems to have caused quite a stir,im sure im not the only one who found it very funny and in a way a compliment to the way the author feels about those mentioned,i saw it as a very affectionate piece,i would hope other do too.

FLMS VERSION OF THE WEEKEND.

2004-09-28T14:27:00.000+01:00

Well it was quite a weekend all in all....Friday came around with the arrival of our son Ian from the black country.
He travelled south with a small suitcase and a note from his teacher that we were to be extra nice to hm due to the unfortunate incident in the school Gym and that nice PE teacher Mr Makepiece.
Sonny arrived at the station looking tired after such a long journey...prior to this I had been arranging a mortgage and getting totally fleeced by a slimy Estate Agent...thats a long story and not for the pages of this wonderful Blog.

The Weekend had started.
Ian was here and Bungle and I were ready to spin him round the dance floors of gay London.....Then....my youngest had to go into hospital. He is 13 and has been diagnosed with Type 1 Diabetes. This means he has to have regular insulin injections...currently 4 times a day. His blood sugar is still high but is slowly coming down....it was a stressful time going back and forth to Kingston Hospital...but in all honesty the staff there, Doctors and Nurses were all fantastic and made his stay as easy as possible.

So back to the weekend....Ian was all excited at the prospect of finding some playmates and sharing some quality times with like-minded young gentlemen.

Saturday saw us all ready for some fun and games at one of Ian's clubs called XXL. It was a very busy evening there as they had celebrated a Birthday with cakes and clowns....funny really as a lot of the clowns seemed to stay there after the party.
Ian clutched his party bag to his shorts and went in search of some friends.

Bungle and I watched him with pride as he sauntered off into crowd skipping and singing 'Chirpy Chirpy Cheap Cheap'..what a happy young fellow he was.

Late that evening he was spotted talking to a man who had a job working for a plywood teeth manufacturer....seems a bit strange as he smoked and I would consider that a fire hazard...anyway the young man seemed impressed with young Sonny and soon he was travelling back to the wilds of Chertsey in my car.

Mummy (Bungle) and great pleasure introducing herself as Jeffrey Dahmer and me Colin Ireland laughing relentlessly as Sonny's playmate boarded the vehicle. It turned out that the playmate had taken a few Junior Disprin and was feeling a little under the weather.....

I have to say that Sonny has thoroughly tested my 'put u up'. The springs have had a good thrashing and lasted through with no visible damage.

Sunday saw me back at the hospital and Mummy and Sonny urging the plywood teeth man out the door...this they finally did in just enough time for Sonny to make his way to the local Scouts hut to find yet another playmate.

This one was a nice man....although he could have been employed by a hat company testing the outsize versions of their products.

Mummy and I cooked dinner for the two young scamps as they played Spirograph and giggled at naughty jokes. All seemed to be going well....
It seems that young Ian was not so impressed with the man with the oversized cranium. Despite him being a very nice hairy young fellow Sonny was not being won over....however he did give the 'put u up' one final thrashing for me...he is nothing if not thorough in his testing of that sofa.

The next day Sonny was ready to leave for the black country again. I think he had enjoyed himself whilst down in the smoke and eagerly looks forward to another visit soon.

Mummy and Daddy wiped their furrowed brows as they watched him hobble towards the station still singing a Middle of The Road classic.

Not sleeping..

2004-09-28T10:47:00.000+01:00

Anyone got any tried and tested hints for me im having a great deal of trouble sleeping lately..so any ideas will be most helpful..

Its Here....

2004-09-28T10:35:00.000+01:00

Good morning everyone..
I have not blogged for a couple of days as we had a busy weekend,Ian was here from friday til monday and so had to sort his sex life out..

On friday the FLM had a phone call from his youngest son,to tell him he was on his way to hospital, to have some tests and has since been diagnosed with having type 1 diabetes.

So now has to learn to manage it and control it rather than let it contol him
since this has happened we have read up a lot about it and it seems to be something that appears to be on the increase amongst the under 16s.

The FLM has gone back to work today,still very concerned as is to be expected.

i'm indoors doing the stepford wives thing..Well I will be after I have seen my daytime TV....

Guest blog

2004-09-27T16:00:00.000+01:00

todays blog will be posted by the FLM very shortly.

Still dying...

2004-09-24T06:15:00.000+01:00

Day two and im still dying ..so more TLC and hugs needed please....The FLM is taking the day off to nurse me ..ohh and to see a man about a mortgage...ohh and to take me shopping..

Im dying...

2004-09-23T15:15:00.000+01:00

Im not well,i woke up this morning with a runny nose and lots of sneezing...so i need lots of t. l .c and hugs....

FLM

2004-09-21T14:00:00.000+01:00

Well the FLM has just bought his first home as an out gay man,and he is very nervous,as to be expected,but its a great flat and its the only one he has seen and not stopped thinking about ..so hopefully its the place he's meant to be living in.

So now starts the hassle and cash outlay etc.

5.30 am

2004-09-21T05:59:00.000+01:00

I woke up at 4.30 and couldn't get back to sleep,all I could think was about how casually I had ended a friendship,and how sad it has left me feeling,although I do believe that everything has a shelf life,I was still shocked that I could make such a cold choice to do it,the said ex-friend sent me a message saying that he noticed I had ignored him when I saw him and that maybe in future for the sake of our mutual friends we could be at least polite to each other,and I thought yes that sounds like a good idea,so I replied saying such,and wishing him well with his new job etc....,and tried to give some reason as to why I thought it best to end our friendship,and thought no more about it til I woke up and then couldn't go back to sleep,hence being on here blogging at 5.30.

Once awake I thought back over the years to how other friendships had ended and I realised how cold and detached I was a person,I have let many friendships fall by the wayside for various reason,mostly I have to say from laziness when it was too much effort to phone when I got in from work or couldn't be bothered to make the effort to actually go out with them.

I then justified this by thinking surely everyone has done this we all change and want different things from people and to a certain extent outgrow some people.

But then in the midst of this thought my Mother came into my mind ,not something that happens often I have to say.
For those that know me will know that I left home at 16 and had no contact with her or my sister for 11 years,in that time I became the person I am today,rather than the person or non person I was until 16.

Then at 27 I decided that I was going to move to the USA and through word of mouth my mother heard about this and word got back to me that she was asking if I would see her before I left,I thought about it and realised that I was an adult now and could handle seeing her on my own terms.

So for nearly 3 years we kept up a sort of mother/son relationship with me feeling that I could put the past behind me and sustain the new found mother/son bond.

But after 3 years it dawned on me that infact i couldnt and indeed didnt even want too,in the years where I had no contact I prided myself on choosing my friends very carefully and I guess made myself a substitute family,and sadly she played no part in this.
And so when I was offered a new job which meant moving again I did this and stopped all contact and that has how its been til this day.

And although I stand my the choice I made then,it has made me think about myself and how cold and hard I have become as a man,that I can so easily cut people from my life that I feel dont belong in it,with no thought at all as to how they feel about it.

So to end this on some sort of positive note,i want to say that those people I have in my life now are very special to me and i'm very glad that they are in my life.

God anyone would think I was dying...I'm not I hasten to add..So you can all put away the sack cloth and ashes for now..

Friday

2004-09-18T09:45:00.000+01:00

It was the delightful stockycubz birthday on friday so the FLM and I took him to the holy land of Bluewater for some retail therapy and lunch...

We had decided to have tapas, as stockycubz and I both love it..FLM wasn't quite as keen and did say he would like a tuna salad..
of course he was outvoted..So we sat down and ordered plates and plates of tapas dishes..None of which FLM had heard of..Now most people have a few likes and dislikes..
FLM has the the weirdest issues with food..Including eggs,lamb,hard cheese,and various other harmless food stuffs..But to be fair he did try most of the food layed out..And enjoyed..

The three of spent most of the lunch laughing and giggling..At one point the FLM did manage to make a couple of ladies eat and run as they thought he was shouting at them...He of course wasn't..Just recounting a story to stockycubz..Loudly..

We then went to do said shopping..He decided that he wanted to buy a Cd he had heard a track off on the Johnny Walker show..More about the Cd later..
Whilst we were in the shop he said stay here just got to run upstairs..
I stayed as told too,when he returned he had bought me a copy of SIMS 2 ..Now I know that may sound dull but i'm a very sad man and it was only released yesterday and was already top of my wish list for xmas.
And lo and behold there it was in my grubby lil hand..
In my mind I was plotting how to get home ASAP..This plan didn't work he was wise to my every tactic..Damn him.

So we continued to shop...
We managed to bully FLM in to buying a couple of new tops he is hard work to get him to spend money on himself.

Finally we left to come home..

Once home I rushed to install the game this took ages and I was getting very frustrated,whilst I was waiting the FLM said I think I will put my new Cd on...OH my god what a pile of poo that was I have heard better music in a lift.
Oh well his choice..

We then had an hour to get ready to go out for the evening with stockycubz and another friend,i'm so glad Tim came..And not just as it meant I didn't have to drive...Well not only because of that.

As we were running sort of late we decided to give the Kings Arms a miss..Big mistake after reading Mr piggies blog..lol

Instead we went to south central,we were so early the place was more or less empty except for a sad old poof who was letching over everyone..(it wasn't me)

I was having a lovely time ..Until my EX walked in but to be fair he kept to one side of the bar and we to ours..
Then just as I had decided that the evening wasn't ruined in walked...
The friend who I had decided was no longer a friend and so chose to ignore...So far so good..
Til he thought it would be a good idea to come over and try to talk,I took the option of pretending to not see or hear him..Yes I know very adult..

The lovely FLM tried in vain to talk to him and not make it look so obvious,this didn't work and now ex friend got the hint and walked away..
I then felt a lil bit guilty and FLM pleaded with me to go over and make things OK...It did cross my mind,but as I would only have been doing it for the FLM it seemed the wrong thing to do...Best to let sleeping dogs lie I think..

CHOCOLATE BRAZILS

2004-09-17T12:33:00.000+01:00

So Bungle and I had a date last night...We went back to that restaurant where he fell down the stairs and injured his pretty little self....And the main reason for going back there was that we had received free tickets for meal based on the extent of Bugles vast array of injuries.
No sooner than we had been escorted to a small table Bungle demanded to be moved as he 'was not happy' with the table. The mild mannered waiter then took us to a small nook and made sure we were out of harms...and the publics...way. Seated next to us was a couple who, by the end of the evening, wished they had been seated on the table Bungle was unhappy with.

Now for those who dont know my little foibles...well I have two phobias...one is Moths and the other is crabs/lobsters. Yes you can see where this is leading cant you...what does Bungle order for his main course....?

LOBSTER

The bloody thing was laying on his plate....looking at me the whole of the meal...and being phobic about such things I found it very difficult to take my eyes off it (just in case it made a last lunge at me). This my lovely Bungle found hilarious as he shovelled the contents of the Lobster down his screech.

It was his tactic to have just about everything that was the most expensive on the menu...I was a little more concerned than him as I could not believe that this was all going to be on the house....and to my delight ...it was !

The meal was lovely..despite my steak coming from the kitchen almost still with a pulse....they did sort that out for us though.

We made our way home after considering faking Bungle with a fish bone in his throat in an attempt to get another free meal...even HE did not think that was a good idea.

Now anyone who has travelled with Bungle on public transport will know what I am talking about here...
I have 3 children and its enough to say that I would not tolerate behaviour like his from any of them....
He insisted in laying full stretch across 3 seats...he did put his feet on a STOLEN book from the restaurant...more of that in a minute.
He insisted on saying in a loud voice..'I AM BORED' and pointing and laughing at members of the public who were unfortunate enough to have joined our carriage.
THEN he wanted Chocolate......and at this point things got much much worse. Along comes Mr Sensible...much like a Mr Bean in an ill fitting sweat shirt and asks Bungle to move his legs as its very unsociable....Bungle does reluctantly and Mr Bean sits himself down and then......
gets...
out...
a...
BIG....
packet of...
CHOCOLATE BRAZILS.
Poor Bungles face lit up and he made very loud reference to how delicious they looked and how he wished he had some....all to no affect. Mr Bean shoved em in his mouth and ignored him finally turning to Bungle and starting a conversation about the evils of the UK and how obviously GAY Bungle looked.....oh dear....

It was a long Journey.

Now as to the book....Bungle could not resist stealing it from the shelf next to our overloaded Lobster ridden table...it was called ESSEX CURIOSITIES....I will leave the rest to your imagination.

All in all a lovely evening and one to remember

Why do i bother!

2004-09-16T12:24:00.000+01:00

I take ages to think of something interesting to say on my near daily blog,and get maybe a handful of comments..

I write a test piece that I forget to remove and get 38..The only conclusion I can reach is that I really am as dull as ditchwater...

Oh woe is me ...

Well anyway today is my big date with the FLM,we are going back to the lovely restaurant where I made a complete fool of myself by falling down the stairs,they have invited us back to entertain tonights guests..For free I hasten to add.

So it is with some trepidation that we go back.

I'm hoping that it will be a lovely night!

And im sure it will be how can it not be when im with the lovely FLM

Photo Shoot

2004-09-14T16:08:00.000+01:00

Well I have now got a subject to talk about...

In November of last year I was approached to do a photo shoot for Freedom condoms,now those of you that have seen me will be aware that having me on a condom packet would ensure safer sex..im enough to put Valentino of sex...

But I did the shoot (topless) and had a great time in the process,and have to say it was a big giggle seeing my face etc on condoms in various pubs clubs I go too.

Anyway (piggys fave word) Today I got a call asking me if I would like to do a new shoot for a different thing and I wouldn't have to be nude etc..Big result..LOL

So after initially saying no..I thought heck why not so now on Saturday morning I shall be at Camden Town being a model for the day..Naomi Campbell eat your heart out..

Why am I neurotic?

2004-09-12T19:33:00.000+01:00

I must be the most insane person I know....And I know lots of insane people..(hello piggy)

I have spent most of the weekend thinking that my relationship with the FLM was in imminent danger of ending,so I like a mad man decided the best course of action would be to get in first and dump him..

But then thought that maybe the best idea would be to talk to him..What a novel idea for me an actual grown up relationship..This is a first for me.

So I opened my mouth and said what was worrying me and he him etc..
and low and behold all sorted and no need or reason to end the best most normal stable relationship I have ever been in.

And so i will go to sleep a happy ole poof..lol

Remiss..

2004-09-11T13:29:00.000+01:00

This is my first blog in a few days im not sure why,I just haven't thought of anything I have needed to say,and I know that most of the stuff I write is drivel..(thanks piggy).

So today will try and be profound....

Ok... That didn't work..

I feel slightly low key today im back in my own place for the first time in 3 weeks and have to say it was nice to sleep in my own bed,as it is a lovely big comfy thing that sings to me as I sink into it..

I have got some bits and pieces that I need to do indoors and shopping at tesco to do,then im gonna just veg with some scooby snax in front of the TV and let my mind wander..

The FLM is having a day with his youngest son,then his daughter tomorrow,which will be lovely for him.

I may pop out with the lil piggy later if he remembers where I live...

Bloody blogspot

2004-09-08T15:15:00.000+01:00

For the second time I have wrote a whole bloody blog and then crash blogspot crashes..

So ok will try and remember the gist of it...

Have not blogged since Sunday for various reasons...
One the FLM has had a friend staying and he has been here all day and boy was he hard work..Spoke very lil and just smoked,ate and surfed...
I think he was amazed at the rubbish I watch all day..
He finally left on Tuesday..phew.

It being Tuesday we headed of to vauxhall for the lines and bears dancing...

My evening consisted of drinking several pints of Stella artois..mmmm
This was ok..til we headed home then I realized that I was a tiny bit pissed,and became very loud and very giggly..Oh dear
At one point I feared I was gonna throw up,thankfully I didn't..
Once home the giggles continued ..Poor FLM had to get up for work and all I did was laugh and demand sex,like some demented banshee..

Today I got up and had a lovely clear head..(sorry FLM).

Tonight we are going to see 2 flats..Which is always fun for me..Not sure the FLM has as much fun...Oh well...LOL

I will promise to try and be nice and polite to the estate agents and homeowners..
I did say TRY!

Hectic weekend

2004-09-05T19:13:00.000+01:00

Today is the first day I have had a chance to update the blog,we have had Ian staying with us since Friday,and its been as always a real pleasure we did nothing but eat drink and laugh....

Friday seemed to go by in a blur, we finished the evening in the Kings Arms,and the first people I saw were 2 of my least favourite men in the world so I made usual one word greeting and moved on,only to bump into the third least favourite person and this one I couldn't escape,he then bored me all evening with his tales of having some sort of vibrator inserted in his penis..(yuk) and how he was shagged whilst on special K..I prefer muesli...

I did try to be pleasent for as much time was humanly possible as the FLM feel sorry for this person...I don't..But in the end I had to do my usual trick of walking away and leaving everyone else to talk to him.

Saturday morning...Nothing much happened ..In the afternoon we took Ian to our fave pub on the river for a few drinks , then came home and Ian got ready for xxl..FLM and I made our excuses not to go..im sure Ian will say more on his blog...

Sunday..We took Ian in to Staines..What fun for him..And dragged home round PC World while the FLM tried to make his mind up on what laptop to buy...And big surprise he made a quick decision on what one he wanted...I was very helpful and only tried to sway his mind a couple of times...Im sure the staff were so pleased that I was there to advise them on how best to do their job,they were so happy ...When I left..I cant think why..im sure when FLM next does a guest blog he may have some ideas...
He brought a wireless network kit and I said no worries I can set up a network for us...And to everyone's surprise..Though of course not mine...I did it..

Evening we took young Ian to the station and headed back for a swift pint on the river,then home for us to be sad ole gits to play on the new laptop and network.

Hello FLM here full of Sainsburys Soave....who said I aint sophisticated...
Well what a great weekend..our Son was here visiting, young Ian, I think he had a lovely time and visited some of the nice places London has to offer...Kings Arms and XXL to name but two....hes a sophisticated kid too...just like his daddy.

Its back to Line Dancing on Tuesday and it will be good to catch up with the crowd who go...especially the git who complained about us having a good time....

Bungle made me buy a new laptop today and wirelessed me up the ying yang...he did an excellent job and barked orders at me and Ian for about 45 minutes....but he did it ! So this rabbit hutch I live in is wire free....amazing....I even sat in the garden and surfed...oh what will technology throw at us next...Pot noodles north of the Thames?

Sonny is speeding northwards as I type this and I must say we will miss him. He is a lovely son to have around and the three of us had a very good laugh all weekend.

My eldest is after V tickets for next summer....so if any of you bloggers know a cheap way to get them please let us know?

Well all in all a great weekend....now for the down side of it....I have a mate coming back from Holland....he is staying here tonight...its a long story...maybe a blog on its own? Bungle has him here all day tomorrow....I will make a mark on the side of the Gin bottle....friend flys back to Amsterdam on Tuesday....pass me the Vallium someone....

Sarastro

2004-09-02T12:44:00.000+01:00

We were invited by a friend of mine to help celebrate his birthday at a nice restaurant in Covent Garden,the invite said that he would be putting red/white wine and water on the table and if anyone wanted drinks other than this they were to be paid for at time of ordering..
So being the simple soul I am I assumed this to mean that said wine was paid for by the host...

Oh dear....

We had only been the 5 minutes when someone needed me to move ,now those that know me will be aware that im not a small man...
And we were seated upstairs on a balcony type thing(I wasn't happy about that).
And the steps were very dodgy.....And yes I miss stepped and fell down 4 foot and hurt my calf and shoulder big bruise and cut to leg...Not one of the staff asked if I was ok etc..
And as I only knew the host and one other person felt very silly and wasn't about to make a fuss....

Then the bill arrived...

The set menu that we all had was £22.50 So FLM and I assumed that would be all we would pay and tip of course..How wrong we were ..The bill came to £40 per person..So I felt slighty duped as the way the invite had been worded it looked like drinks were paid for..If this had not been stated it would have been fine..Others had thought this too.
So of course the FLM paid up being the lovely man he is without any fuss...Even though he had not even met anyone there before.And had only 2 glasses of wine the whole evening...Thankfully me being a bit of a lush did manage to get more down my throat..Though not nearly enough to cover the bill..

This morning I had given the evening a lot of thought and rang the restaurant to complain about the lack of concern that someone had had an accident whilst there..
And have now been told that myself and FLM can go back for a free top price meal and drinks on the house..So that eases the pain....Slightly..

Fed up

2004-09-01T15:30:00.000+01:00

I spent ages doing todays blog only to find it not loading so am not happy and so wont be doing it again!

Diets..

2004-08-31T12:42:00.000+01:00

Well as of today im back on a diet..
Its not something im looking forward too as those of you that know me will know I love my food..
But I have to lose some weight as none of my clothes fit,and I don't intend to buy yet another new wardrobe, so will have no option but to diet and fit in to the stuff I already have..

So I will be short tempered and obnoxious for awhile now..And yes before anyone replies..No change there then.

But once I get back into it I will be fine..Though giving up the booze will be harder this time round
but it will be worth it in the end when I have lost 4 stone...I hope...

Tonight we are back on the househunting treadmill again so any of the nasty house's we may see will not be seen through red wine glasses ..Oh dear...

Mango Out The Nose

2004-08-30T17:36:00.000+01:00

Well its FLM here again with another guest spot on Bungles's Blog. It has been quite a few days recently with Bungle meeting the fruits of my hetro loins. He was a quiet little Bunny and made sure he growled all the right words to the little darlings. We went for a meal and a film (he hated the film and yawned very loudly all the way through the scarey bits). The kids, my 18 year old daughter and 13 year old son warmed to him immediately...well not so much warmed as looked on in astonishment....well not so much astonishment as complete horror. I am only kidding he was marvelous and so were they in such a potentially awkward situation.

On Sunday we were up in the wilds of the North (Colchester) and he met my eldest son, 21, and his girlfriend. This went quite well too...it was a nice Sunday. We were also visiting an old friend of Bungles who I am sure will never have us in her house again. Actually considering we were visiting her she spent most of the two days we were there out visiting other people...make of that what you will...she did cook a lovely caserole though.

I think she was treading very carefully with us as Bungle had warned me she was a right wing nazi...I looked for any Swastikas etc but there were none to be found and she was very nice...well except for wanting to poison all the foxes. In the evening of the first day Bungle went to get ready for bed...I did not think this was odd...little did I know what was to follow.
He returned to the Living room in a vertical black and white striped 'moo moo' (like a tent with a hole for the head)...it looked like it had been bought at a Concentration Camp's gift shop. He was naked underneath and proceeded to have great fun in exposing what looked like a strangled chicken sitting on a pair of hairy grapes. Poor Sandra...but in actual fact she took very little notice which makes me think this is a regualr event for the Colchester shires.

We did have a good time though and managed to laugh for the whole weekend.
Today (Monday) we popped to the local shops and had a coffee.Bungle had a Mango Iced drink. During the coffee he decided to exhale Mango through his nostils all over me and down a white shirt...I have decided it is really like dating a hairy retard....but I have to say I would not be with anyone else.
Thats the end of this Blog from me...all in all a very enjoyable week with more fun and games to come....I wonder if Bungle will tell you all about the Senokot?

Todays blog

2004-08-30T08:52:00.000+01:00

Todays blog will be guest hosted by the FLM ...at some point when he can be bothered to get out of bed..

Children

2004-08-27T09:11:00.000+01:00

Well today is the day that I meet the FLM's children,well 2 of them.
And am I nervous? .....

Of course I am..Everyone says relax just be you it will be fine....
But all my friends also tell me how horrible I am,so that's not filling me with confidence..LOL

The FLM is appearing to be as cool as a cucumber....Which is apt as he left for work this morning looking like one..More later..

So I now have the whole day to panic and try various outfits on to decide what I look least gay in,which is very difficult when all I have is checked shirts and very young t.shirts that would look great on a 21 year old who was 8 stone lighter than me.

But even with my nerves and trepidation I have to say I am looking forward to the event,were going for a meal and a film.

Im assuming that with the FLM as a father they will at least be polite and funny even if they hate me....

Right to close today's blog the FLM bought a lovely pair of new jeans this week in a nice olive colour,which I teamed with a nice green/olive checked shirt and he looked ..G.O...gorgeous..But He feels a bit daft..May post a picture of the outfit and take votes..LOL

PS as we're away for the weekend there will be no new entries til monday..

Mr Mop

2004-08-26T08:53:00.000+01:00

Today I shall mainly be doing housework,the FLM and I have invited a certain piggy for dinner this evening,im sure he will comment on this in his blog at some point,let me assure you what I tell you about the evening tomorrow will be true..Unlike his version of events...

So armed with a shopping list and orders the FLM will go to sainsburys in his lunch-hour to get all that I need to throw together something for the fussy little veggie.

I have decided to make a Greek salad as im hoping that even I can do that without mucking it up,those who know me will testify that cooking is not one of my better talents...Yes piggy I hear you ask what F........ Talents do I have....

So I have put the washing on,will be hoovering later with a Hoover that im sure was on the Titanic,tis a shame that it didn't sink with it,and the bloody cast from the film..That's 3 hours of my life that I will never see again....Sorry I digress ..(I hate the film)

And I might even move the sitting room around..im hoping that the FLM doesn't read today's blog,til I have made up my mind.

If he does then of course I wont move anything darling....

Maybe more later when I have done some chores...

Fears...

2004-08-25T08:44:00.000+01:00

Im the sort of person that has to have a plan, I don't really like doing things on the spur of the moment I need to know im in control of any given situation,and this usually works out ok...

Until yesterday when my Tuesday routine went very very wrong,I go to lines and bears with Stuart at 7pm where we meet various friends and of course the FLM,but for many reasons it didn't work out that way,so a new plan was needed for me to make my own way from Hornchurch to Richmond...

A simple enough change of plan you would think, and for a normal person im sure it would have been.

But im ashamed to say I have an irrational fear of public transport,if im traveling with someone else I can usually mask it and feel ok,but left to do it on my own and I have panic attacks and go to pieces.

This was the case yesterday as the whole trip had to be arranged in about an hour,which in a way was better or else given longer I would have wound myself up to such a state I wouldn't have been able to make the journey.

As it was I spent the next hour or so shaking and crying,and hating myself for feeling so stupid for being like that.

Once on the tube which was packed with West Ham fans going to a match which didn't help matters,once they had got off, things were slightly easier I was able to watch a DVD(Queer As Folk) maybe not the best choice for a a trip on the district line,with people looking over and seeing what seemed to be just the sexual content.

The whole journey took about an hour and 50 min,but seemed to last twice that I was sweating and stressed the whole time.

But im pleased to say that I did it and felt some degree of satisfaction that I had..

Having said that though its not something will be in a rush to do again.

Tuesday.....

2004-08-24T09:01:00.000+01:00

When i first told ian and stockycubz about the concept of blogging i had a small niggling feeling that they might think it a very strange thing to do ....
And maybe even just laugh at me.

Little did i know how much they would actually get from blogging in their own right im sure they have found it to be a very useful medium to expell some demons from the past,something i had not considered using the blog for,but soon realised that its a great way to use it.

After reading Ians blog today made me realise how important the whole idea of this could be and for once i was lost for words and didnt want to make any silly comments that would belittle the impact of what i had read,for those of you that read my blog and maybe not Ians please take the time to read his last few entries..Thanks

Friends...

2004-08-23T17:08:00.000+01:00

Firstly I want to thank the FLM for his guest blog on Sunday..Most of it was fine..It wasn't a bogey!
I feel like im turning into a Stepford wife,im seeing good in everyone..God that pisses me off..
I normally see the worst in people then maybe look for something good..Which has always worked for me.

But now I seem to always be smiling and happy..Its just not right..

Over the last 3 days I have spent a lot of time with family and friends,the friends are always welcome company the same cant be said for family, I normally find a reason to not spend much time with them but even yesterday was ok..Mind you it was only for 4 hours and I was eating for most of it so that helps!

FLM was as expected his usual charming self and today I have had various texts from said family and friends telling me how lovely he is and how lucky I am...If one more person says that he is so dumped!

I am late putting on today's blog as I have had a lovely lunch with someone I hate saying is a good friend but will deny this if asked...

I then went and had afternoon tea with my next door neighbour she made some lovely fairy cakes...Is she trying to tell me something??....

FLM's Guest Spot

2004-08-22T19:22:00.000+01:00

Well its FLM here guest blogging for Bungle...Personally I think he's making a rather big deal of the dry skin episode...But more of that later.
As Bungle has said we have been househunting...Well I have been househunting and Bungle has been organising and belittling the occupants and the Estate Agents. We saw some nice places but none of them matched his expectations....So its on hold for a while.

Some interesting things have happened since I came 'out' to friends and family...One of the biggest suprises was how well everyone took the news...Something tells me they suspected, hard to believe I know as I am a terribly butch and together man - maybe, just maybe the fear of Moths and most sea creatures, together with an alphabetised CD collection just gave the game away...Oh not to forget the obsession with Diana Ross.

Whilst we were visiting all these flats and houses we took a quick break in sunny Staines to grab a snack by the river...A delicious home made sandwich and a glass of Witches Tit ale. We consumed this eagerly with an inner desire to continue househunting. Little did we realise that half of the said sandwich had mysteriously become stuck to Bungles cheek and further to this he had acquired a rather nasty bogie that had positioned itself just under the right nostril....(ITS NOT A BOGIE....ITS DRY SKIN !!!!) this kind of made his rantings at Estate Agents and frightened housewives somewhat invalid...Luckily we saw the funny side of it.

On Friday Bungle meets number 3 child...We call him Joe. We are going to take him to a horror film so as to lessen the blow of seeing daddy with a Monkey for a lover....I think this will be a complete success as he will be traumatised by the film and oblivious to any sexual connections between myself and my hirsute boyfriend. I am such a good parent. More to come about this.

Today I met some of Bungles family. We had a nice meal in Brentwood and celebrated a family birthday. They were all very nice and friendly except for the elderly gentleman...The grandfather...Who I am sure wanted me roasted on a spit along with all the other poofs Bungle had inflicted on this poor family...All in all a lovely day.

Well that's about it. Bungle will be back in the hot seat tomorrow....That's if the dry skin does not take over.

Tomorrows Blog.

2004-08-21T16:11:00.000+01:00

Sundays blog will be guest hosted by the FLM he has decided that he has a few things he wants to say.....
I have told him that I can edit anything im not happy with.

I have spent the best part of the day clearing out a storage cupboard under the stairs that I have filled with junk,all to look for a couple of things that I know are in there,but cant put my grubby fingers on..

Everytime I go in there I say im going to throw most of it out and start again but that never happens,instead I try and locate what im looking for then throw everything back and shut the door.

The rest of the day I plan on doing nothing,just watching crap TV and maybe having a girlfriend over for supper later.

Sunday we will be having a family dinner when the FLM will meet the few remaining relatives I actually still have any contact with...Think addams family only more scary..
Im sure the FLM will report more on his guest page Sunday.

Fridays child

2004-08-20T08:25:00.000+01:00

I don't know why but I always look forward to the weekend,I have no reason to do this really I haven't worked for a long time so the thought of the impending two days of isn't the same for me as for most people.

But in an odd way its almost like a fresh start again to the new week ahead,even though the forthcoming week will be no different to the past week.

I think following on from an earlier blog entry in the week,im ready for my life to change,but for various reasons beyond my control at the moment it cant.

I feel that I need to be a real person again,something that I don't think I have felt for a long time,this in part is due if im honest to being involved with the FLM as in my past relationships there has never been an equal partnership due to either me being too controlling or for the other men not being the person I had thought/hoped they were,so I have always lost faith in them and moved on (some friends would say to quickly) but I think you know very early on if something feels right or not.

Since being with the FLM though I have realized that not every relationship has to be based on who has the most power in it etc,and despite some early insecurities on my part (groundless) I hasten to add I really do feel that I have met a great man,that I don't need to be play games with and that I really can just be myself with (good or bad)and he will not judge me for it.

This is all new for me,so im hoping that I don't follow my usual self destruct path and mess it up.

Its odd as this blog entry took a different slant to what I had intended it to,so I hope it doesn't seem too disjointed.

So to close with the way it started....Thank god its Friday!

Nothing to say..

2004-08-19T13:28:00.000+01:00

Well today is one of those days that I have nothing to say..

All I have done is get up watch trash TV,spoke to estate agents that don't listen,and eat..

So apart from the estate agents no change in my day at all..

Though later I shall be cooking for the third time this year(poor FLM)
will have to endure it again.
And before that I shall be ironing...I don't think I can take so much excitement in one day...

I might even Hoover if I can fit it in..But I somehow doubt it.

Were going to view a house later that looks lovely so will no doubt be bloody awful when we venture inside.
And tomorrow we are going to have a second viewing on a flat that is very nice....But...

Self image

2004-08-18T17:30:00.000+01:00

I found it really interesting yesterday whilst out with friends to discover that someone who I consider to be a very good looking handsome man has the same doubts and issues about himself that I do about me.

What I see when I look at him is a very together,kind funny man,and as I say a very attractive man.

And if im honest it was quite refreshing to find out whilst chatting that he didn't see the same,as this made him even more attractive.

If only we could see ourselves as others see us,only of course if they see us better than we see ourlseves..LOL.

On different track now,FLM and I have been spending the day viewing houses, I never realized how much fun it could be snooping round peoples houses and bring hyper critical and not care..

Though im not sure FLM found it quite as much fun as me,he being a lot kinder and nicer than me,he left each set of homeowners thinking an offer would be imminent.

A New Day..

2004-08-17T10:03:00.000+01:00

I awoke this morning feeling much brighter than I have in days,having slept well.
As Piggy so kindly pointed out to me last night,my life isn't really that exciting as I don't work etc so my days just merge into eachother,but for some strange reason im happy with it,I always seem to find stuff to fill my time.

But I have made a decision that I have to make a conscious effort to think about returning to work in the very near future,but as I have no idea what it is I even want to do that wont be easy.

So if any of you out there have any ideas please feel free to offer some suggestions..

And Mr Piggy im not gonna sleep with you for cash so don't even bother asking!

The most inventive idea may get a prize..But then again maybe it wont..

Monday..

2004-08-16T15:14:00.000+01:00

I am feeling slightly down today,have been for a couple of days.
I think all that's been happening over the weekend has had more of an effect on me than I realized it would.

But im pleased that its all over all the relevant people now know, so life should be easier.

I have also been to a residents meeting today as I am the chair for the residents committee, and had to deal with many minor complaints that on any other day would not have bothered me,but today really wound me up.

For instance....What time can the communal driers be put on....Who cares..
So I used my powers as chair and called the meeting to an early close and had a cup of tea.

I am now just gonna chill and do nothing..Yes piggy ..Just like any other day of my life!.

MEN.

2004-08-15T12:34:00.000+01:00

Is it just a gay thing that when you find someone that you want to be with,suddenly you become more attractive to sleaze bags who then think its a good sport to try and get a shag.

I have had various messages from a guy that I met earlier in the year,when I was single,who I was attracted to,but have now made it clear that im very happy and don't want to lose what I have,his reaction has to been to ask "does that mean you wont pork me?" and they say romance is dead.

I have never understood the mentality of a wide section of the queer world that even if your involved with someone its fair game to sleep around..
I find it hard enough to find one man I want to be with let alone bits on the side.

Maybe im a relic from the dark ages (shut it piggy).
But being in a relationship has never been the be all and end all of my life so the mere fact that I am in one and very happy is more than enough for me.
So it does amaze me when others see it as fair game to try and mess that up,or think that the grass is greener on the other side.
In my experience all that's on the other side is weeds...
So endeth today's rant...LOL

FLM

2004-08-14T16:12:00.000+01:00

Im pleased to report that FLM has done the deed and told his children that he's a shirtlifter..
And they have taken it very well...As I say anyone who knows FLM will know he is a lovely man.
And that it would be hard to imagine them not being ok with it.

Im so happy have a had a grin from ear to ear since he told me..

Stealing the idea off Stocky's blog..It does make me realize how fortunate I have been in my life as a gay man.

I came out at 14 and have never been in the "closet" so I guess I don't fully understand how difficult it must be for others.

In my choice of career I was very lucky that my sexuality was never an issue and so therefore always open etc.

So to close today's bloggette..

I just want to say how pleased I am that all has turned out ok for the FLM...And I love him..

Ok you can all be sick now..

Blogging..

2004-08-13T11:06:00.000+01:00

Well im not happy...this is the second time i have written this ..it took so long the first time that my session expired..damn...

When i first heard of this thing called Blogging via Mr Piggy i wasnt totally convinced that it would be something i would enjoy..He told me to give it a go...and how right he was.

Now 2 weeks later i have brought two friends into the Blogging family and they seem to enjoy it as much as i do..yay..

Im trying to convince the FLM to try his hand at it as im sure he would enjoy it and get a lot from it.

He has a very strange weekend ahead of him ..He's telling his 3 children and ex wife that he's gay..He as expected is very nervous about how they will react to the news,so im keeping everything crossed that it goes well,he's a lovely, special man and a great father so if he has raised his children to be anything like him im sure they will not give a damn..
But incase they do..BW if you have a lil spell tucked away that could make things easier it would be most appreciated..Thanks.

Making judgments

2004-08-12T10:43:00.000+01:00

After spending time on Gaydar for an hour or so yesterday I was amazed that some poofs could be so intolerant of diverse hobbies and interests.
A close friend of mine enjoys line dancing and goes to a tea dance on a Sunday...Both of which are not really my thing,but he enjoys it and that's fine..

During talking about this hobby in Bears room several "men" thought if fun to try and belittle my friend,I find this sort of thing really annoying,it alters there life in no way what others do for fun,one mans meat etc etc...

If I hadn't tagged along one Tuesday evening to line dancing I would never have met the FLM...
Something for which I guess I should be thankful for??..;O)
And of course I am!

What does it matter what any of us do for fun....Its the fun in life that makes it worthwhile so whatever we do to relax and enjoy is fine..
Long live line dancing!

"Friends"

2004-08-11T12:50:00.000+01:00

I am becoming more and more intolerant of a certain friend of mine,each time I see him I like him less and less.
which is a shame as we used to be quite close.

He seems to think that he is so much better than everyone else and has a superior attitude that at times I want too slap him for....
Of course I wouldn't...hes taller than me...I couldn't reach.

So now I have to make a decisions as to whether I continue with trying to be friends or call it a day and move on..
FLM will I know say try harder and see what happens..And as its Wednesday the day that we have allocated him to think that he can make a decision etc I guess I may have to listen..Damn that man..I must change his pretend day.

Ok Its here.....

2004-08-10T13:41:00.000+01:00

Well its been a quiet day on the range,I have been busy clearing up after a hectic weekend so lots of laundry and housework...So dull...

In between the excitement of the day so far, one of my elderly neighbours called me and said she was worried as she hadn't heard from her sick daughter and would I call the police....I said rather than that why didn't we call her and check she's ok ......I called... She was....

I don't want to get old.

I spoke to one of the hosts from the weekend BBQ last night to offer my apologies for my outrageous behavior...They hadn't noticed...
I dread to think how awful I must really be then..And I was hoping it was just the drink and the puff...

I,ve seen the future...And its green..

2004-08-09T09:10:00.000+01:00

We got ourselves ready and made our way to the BBQ...
On the way I was force fed some lil slices of cake.....Which had a secret ingredient..

So once there and with booze added I sort of became a lil monster...
And just seemed to want to laugh and point at everyone who made me laugh and boy was there lots to laugh at...

The first person to become one of my poor victims was a lovely "middle" aged gent who was very camp and very OTT ..He was wearing a lovely pair of jade green Farrah slacks circa 1974...

and I had an awful vision of it being the FLM in few years time..God he is sooo dumped.

There seemed to be 3 distinct groups Us...The hetties..And the Octopus set....(small social group)

Im sure the other 2 groups will be invited back...
Im pleased tho that my theory about being easier to be two faced when pissed was sooo true..

Anyone having a party? I would love to come.....

Brighton Pride...

2004-08-08T20:28:00.000+01:00

We got up at 7.am to get ready for the day out....
Got to the Black Horse ready for the coach to pick us up,for the exciting day ahead in Brighton we left the pub at 10.am we got into Brighton at 1.pm...
Headed straight to the XXL tent and basically stayed there all day..My kilt /skirt was received with good revues...

Nothing much happened there so when it ended went to XXL London,where we stayed til 4 am..Myself and FLM were so so tired that we fell asleep for an hour...

Then up at 9.30 to prepare for afternoon BBQ at some friends....

A night at the Kings Arms..

2004-08-07T07:36:00.000+01:00

We set of for the road trip to Ka at 7.pm.....we got to the pub at 8.20..i have no sense of direction and so it would seem did neither of the 2 "men" in the car with me.....Thankfully FLM makes no secret of it and doesn't even try to pretend..The same cant be said for the other person in the car.......

Once at the said pub we walked straight into yet another one of "Funny lil mans" exes....For someone who has only been having sex with men for 3 years he has certainly been "friendly" with lots of men...How kind of him....

When to even more dampen the evening I was having to abstain from drinking as I was driving...
And then had to paint a smile on my face and try and be pleasant to 2 of the dullest men ever put into the gay world..Its such a shame that I recognize im so much better at being two-faced when pissed...

Thankfully the evening was mercifully short and we were back on the road by 23.10.....time of arriving home 00.25..the trip when im not driving takes 25 min..
The friend who was in the back seat is now very pissed and telling me im going the wrong way etc...I prayed for him to pass out on the back seat and low and behold 10 min later he had.....

Off to Brighton Pride today on a bus full of trannies....Piggy put the maribou trimmed top down it wont work with the flat heels....

Night at the Movies.

2004-08-06T10:18:00.000+01:00

Please please please..
don't anyone waste time and money on seeing I Robot it is one of the worst films I have ever seen!
No script to speak of,no real acting and even the CGI was shoddy.

This morning FLM (funny lil man) and I were enjoying a moment of "intimacy"when out of the blue he started spouting lines from the movie the Exorcist..Thankfully not the scene with the crucifix..Should I be worried??

Funny lil man has gone to check on the fish..Please don't let them be dead..
I couldn't cope with the tears..And the shopping for new ones..IM sure they will be fine....

Day Four

2004-08-05T09:57:00.000+01:00

Funny lil man was asked by a friend to look after the goldfish for him,while friend was away..They had one of those blocks of food left in the tank.. But funny lil man decided that the fish looked hungry so then fed them some of the normal food...

And not just a pinch so I fear that the fish may be no more..

On his return from having birthday dinner with his children we sat down to watch one of his DVD's that I had bought for his birthday... Something called "Nearest and Dearest" a TV show from the mid 70,s of which I of course am far to young to remember..(shut up Piggy).

We got about 10 minutes into the DVD when "Funny lil Man" went a funny colour and started to choke so of course I did what any caring loving partner would do..I passed him a piece of paper and said sign this....Its so useful carrying a blank will, you never know when it will come in handy!

But thankfully he wasn't about to peg out but was just in hysterics from laughing so much at DVD,so the decision was taken to turn it off and watch at a later date...So I have the joys of Nellie Pledge and her antics to look forward too..

Day Three.

2004-08-04T13:51:00.000+01:00

I am pleased to report that the "funny lil man" loved his tatt...and even gave me some tears of joy,which made it all worthwhile...:O)

The banners and balloons were well recieved (phew)

We went to Dukes last night for the weekly dose of line dancing...And for those that know me dont worry i dont dance i have a rule fat men shouldnt dance....its just wrong...

While we were there an ex of the "funny lil man" turned up...And i wasnt a happy poof ..the guy was very good looking, slim and tall..and im ashamed to say the green eyed monster in me surfaced..Thankfully not for long.

I put on the perfect facade of being fine with him chatting to said man and even bought him a drink with only the tiniest dash of rat poison added..

Actually it pains me to say the guy was very nice and friendly..he still wont ever be drinking out of my Denby though!

2004-08-03T13:03:00.000+01:00

Well day two in the new bloggers house....

I have been into the little town of Hornchurch today to buy some last minute bits and bobs for the "funny lil man" I call my boyfriend.. I call him that as I have trouble remembering his name..

So anyway..(piggys fave word).. I decided that I wanted to get some lil treats for said man for his birthday on wednesday and £65 later I came home...with some awful tatt that I'm sure he will hate.. But hey, I like balloons and banners...

Being the sweet kind man he is, he'll feign excitement and interest...Bless..

Now I just have to wrap the tatt in the lovely wrapping paper I bought..

my day of hell

2004-08-03T00:53:00.000+01:00

After a very interesting and lively weekend with an old friend and some hopefully new ones,which i met in a lovely old house in essex...they know who they are....

Then today i spent a day with a "friend" helping him to do some bits in his new flat...i swear i will never do anymore favours for him again..and if i do forget piggy has my permission to kick me..lol. On a positive note though i came back from there to find one of my elderly neighbours had taken my washing in for me and ironed it and left it outside my front door for me..just goes to show how kind some people can be.

This is my first blog entry so please be patient with me.